Value add to my Blog

From this time onwards I intend to add some more value to my blog. My passion for books has been evident to all who know me. It is this passion that will be once again made to use, this time around to enhance my blog. Every book I erad, I do tend to reflect upon it. Draw some parallel with my life’s experiences and see if I tend to like the author’s views upon the said topic. If its info that I have learnt I would like to make a note of the same. I haven’t been doing this. This would hence allow me to preserve my observations.
Typically in one word I would like to clock my opinion on the books I read. As usual I have been verbose enough to give explanation and then put the same idea in the most garrulous terms :-) I don’t seem to get over it..and neither see its possibility, until I have am imposed upon to do so.

I will start with some of the books I most enjoyed in the recent past.

-Five Point Someone- Chetan Bhagat
-Twenty thousand Leagues Under the Sea- Jules Verne

Also the ones that are my favorites...

Far from the Madding Crowd- Thomas Hardy (This is gonna be pretty tough :-) )
Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen
Frenchmen's Creek- Daphne deMaurieur (I hope I got her spelling right)
As the Crow Flies- Jeffrey Archer

I presume this is just the start and wanna develop it much better. I hope each effort of mine would help me in making a better effort.

Biblio Cormorant

This is my new id in GMAIL. I wanted something different...something that reflected my deepest and keenest interest to be my username.
I like the features of the GMAIL...

Now coming to the title...it definitely deserves some kinda explanation...
Going by my usual nature I definitely tend to complicate things a wee bit...well that is what people around me claim..while I find it otherwise. It has been the trend always..to score well in an exam that was tough for all and flop miserably in the easier ones...I guess my hardwiring is 'zarra hatke' :-)

Biblio...thats self explanatory..based on the root word for books...
Cormorant..typically its a large voracious dark-colored long-necked seabird with a distensible pouch for holding fish; used in Asia to catch fish.....
Now the reason why I have used this simile is to represent the kind of zest/enthu/appetite that I have for books.
Books are my life and I think I cannot survive without them.
Dedicating my latest mail id to this is most befitting and I believe, it represnts my truest feelings.

At work

I have been working for the last one year now in one of countries most prestigious organisations. Hmmm.....

If I put it into words like this then I feel nice about the whole thing, but in my daily routine I do not find things at all so very great. The gloss is what covers all the places whether its a premier institute or organisation or a profession.

My life in the last one year has changed tremendously but in spite of all these changes there are certain things common with regard to my professional life....
I haven't had any special bonding towards my workplace or organisation.
My detachment with regard to the ongoings and the people has been just the same. Its a care a damn attitude that sets into me or rather prevails when it concerns my life at work. Yes, I want to do the job well and prove my worth but it doesn't drive me to sit in the office for long hours or be totally committed to it.
This could be because of one main reason....My dislike towards the work.
The work I do is really not what I want to do.....well I do it purely because its a good career move and also because of the independence I achieve with the kind of remuneration paid.
I do not deny that I have had the experience of my life because of the opportunity provided by my work....but yet its the ocaasional distress that gets into me that tells me am not in the place I am supposed to be.

Reading all this ....I might sound kinda pessimistic..down in dumps and all..but on the contrary am feeling very nice about the fact that I am able to visualise all this clearly. My ideas and aims will not get clouded because of the ongoing chores....the detachment helps me to get back to them.

There is yet another thing I have realised about myself.....
I am capable of actually putting in a lot of effort that I think was incapable of.... I am a better person.
Now I need to work towards being the very best :-)

My recent interviews with my close friends revealed a lot to me.... I realised that I am not as clear in expressing myself and keep them busy as to what could be the reason for a particular kind of behaviour......
I guess I have the knack of keeping people busy ;-)
I hope I am atleast more explicit about myself in future.

Things that matter

There are a number of things that matter a lot, but the pertinent question is do everything that we presume to matter really require so much of consideration.

My CAT exam was an utter disaster. I did not expect it to be that way. My view towards it and all were fine and was pretty confident. There is something amiss. Its very irritating to have this happen over and over again. I could have, probably done it better without preparing.

Well I did feel that I was prepared to face the consequences, but inspite of all that, the outcome has been most disheartening. I believed that I will make it this year.

I want to sound hopeful and optimistic, but its not making me feel better and however hard I choose to ignore it and react in a positive manner, am quite unable to do it.

There are times when everything seems so desolate. I know this is not the end of my world. I know this was not my final aim either. It was one of the many means to get where I want to. In spite of all these things being registered in my head...I presume my heart requires a while longer to be normal.

It has had to take a number of setbacks this year. There have been many memorable moments also...but all in all I have been through numerous situations, which were very novel to me.
This year has been the epitome of Change.

Quandaries

I have realized one thing that I have some capacity to adjust in any place. The year till date has been quite remarkably marked by a number of Quandaries. Yesterday, I was at yet another crossroad and at that point looking back I felt weighed heavily by what all that had been happening with me. Though the situation in question was not a real big issue but then the cumulative of everything was too much to take.

My ability to adjust has come to fore in this year and moreover to a great extent in the past four months. The levels of adaptability that I possess really marvel me at times :-)

Off late I have felt a certain surge of confidence within me. I am sure to make it to the B-school of my choice and ‘God forbid it’ that doesn’t happen I would be more than glad to pick up a profession of my choice. I may not even regret leaving my present occupation. Yes, this does sound very whacky and probably unconventional, but then I would want to do what I love the most.

Given anything I can’t stop being happy :-) and I guess can’t remain sad for long either.

The want to be in the B-school of my choice has been now become a thing I desire the most and I am going to be in one too.

Moving On..

It has been a while since I got the time and also bothered to make an entry.
The kind of composition I was about to make before I was about to sleep never matches the standard of my present or conscious effort of making an entry. Is this the reason why am I yearning for a laptop. But then, it can wait for a while longer. I need to consolidate a number of things prior to that.
‘Cakes n Ale’ does give a refreshing change of putting things and moreover the beautiful representation makes me happy. At present I have a feeling that my life is moving in phases. I come across things and not to forget some of the best experiences. These range from things to people. My latest ‘acquisitions’ if I might put it in a naughty fashion would include people I thought who do not exist in reality. I am glad this time I was wrong J . These people add so much value that I can never imagine. A small talk can actually revitalize and make me soooo happy that I can perform better.
It is at also these times I have people from my past…the one I would prefer to forget, at this stage, come and I am totally lost as to how to deal with these circumstances. I have never ever regretted having done anything, neither do I regret anything now. Its just that I do not wish to be disturbed by them at any time. I guess I have to come to terms with that, hopefully in due course I’ll be bale to.
My prep for CAT …well I wouldn’t call it good and I need to do certain things that’ll keep me focused. I sometimes wonder why do I attach any kind of importance to certain things in life. Does having the need to achieve them the only thing in life. Definitely not!
But then I want something and it is more then all-pervading feeling that makes me do certain things doggedly and have in toto no issues sacrificing anything for its sake.
If, I am to relate to myself to what I was a year back I seriously believe that I have grown tremendously. In terms of not weight ;-) but then in terms of matters concerning people. How to deal with all the myriad varieties I come across. My impatience has reduced .. I suppose but then the fiery spirit still remains that can just go guns blazing at anyone offensive enough. It is a feeling that maybe I must try keeping in control but then I feel its mere human to be so and I don’t wanna be perfect..not like this. I want to yell when I want to. Unfortunately, the number of times I am doing has reduced ;-) .

I am happy with my current status….overwhelmed by His generosity, but greedy…I wanna make it perfect. Off late I have been doing this a lot to some of my fav people….I know that..its fun…mere andar ka shaitaan aaj kal bahut excited rehta hai….
That’s the reason I am the best and want to prove it in terms of certain things that matter superficially. J

Blowng with the 'Current'

With a tryst with My Lord after a really long time...I am very happy
:-)
Its been one helluva week all the while last week and I had good fun. The fitness freak I meant to be, am on the path to become one. Am sure it has called for an unbelievable amount of encouragement and this time coming from myself, made me feel elated.

It made me realise that workout is a 'terribly horrbly appalingly awfully and unbearably good thing for my health' ;-)

I have started with things that I would never have done and now am doing them out of my own initiative. My only regret being that I have not yet finshed Atlas Shrugged....am on the verge of its completion. It has taken an unusually long time, and I wonder yet again that was it me all through from last June till May this year. May be not and I do not like the idea.

But having buried the past under the hatchet, now can move on....

"Penning"

I was wondering as to how important it is to Pen my thoughts.
Its a great need or requirement and enjoyment coupled with satisfaction. The shear enjoyment of reading something of great interest or to jot down my reflections actually lightens my heart.
It becomes an even greater challenge when I want to do it in a discriptive manner.
Any writer/poet while penning one's reflections has a great amount of history related. A whole bundle of ideas and thoughts that heve resulted in that work and to read it without realising this is brutal. The beauty of the work is lost if one does not put in their heart and soul into the read.

The reason behind my present writeup could possibly because of a general observation of people's attiude towards books.

Anything slightly involving a thought into the enigma called 'life' is immediately branded as philosophical. What could be philosophy then? I believe it is just a perspective of an individual's thought which when expounded comes to be called Philosophy.

At the end of the day, I love writing and it really helps me go through my previous ruminations.

It's time...

I was always wanting a change.
A change in the outer appearance and adding new likable facets to my personality.
But I have always want to keep my inner core values intact.
The wrapper must change to maintain novelty and drive away boredom...but the core should always maintain the ethics I have stood for.

It was yet another day of self-doubt when I suddenly realised that I need to get rid of this feeling. It has been with me too long now and I need to get rid of it.

"What would I do if I was not afraid ?"
I think I would do a number of things to my heart's content. I have been doing it but not in terms of things which desire a major revamp in terms of where it is required.
I will now do it ....surely.

I have started...and it's now time to do it.

Frustu me !!!

Well... I suddenly feel like running away from my work. It is interesting, but the monotonous work and absolutely no time left for my other activities makes me wonder how long will my patience last.
Yesterday, was one of the worst days.
My head was aching and a severe stomach problem and eyes burning...full blown...
I have lived it !!!!
So i think, today will also be fine.
I hope I will be able to make out time for much more.
Writing always make me feel great. Now am feeling much better.
Bought Somerset Maugham's Collection of Short Stories Vol.2...I love it !!!!

Motivation

Why would a person work ?
I think that the main reason for motivation is the praise one can gather from the people they value most and moreover also to satisfy one’s own ego.
I bother to fill my blog with the various entries as and when I feel and never really cared that someone I wanted would be checking it on and off to see how the scribe in me was working.
I did tend to neglect ‘you my blog’, but yesterday night was a sweet jolt that made me realize that I must get a bit more dedicated  J
 
My biggest folly, that I have come to realize is that I am not motivated enough.
Never in my life, have I really felt the real need to achieve something. I have always lacked the extra push to be the very best. I was always satisfied as being good.
 
I am now to change all this. I am pushing myself, as much as I can. There is no person who is doing that for me. I am for first time wanting to be in the very best of B-school.
I find myself changed in a number of ways, when it comes my method of work and attitude .
I presume that the recent events are also to an extent responsible, but yet again I would like to credit myself for having adapted in this manner.
I  know..am bragging J but I guess kuch hadh tak  ego boosting and boasting is definitely good.
 
Signing off for the day, and looking fwd for a nice weekend.

" I "

I wonder at the marvel caused by the letter I.
It is highly positive and also negative. It can bring in that magical flavour in a relationship and it can also destroy a beautiful one.
Perusing through a review on Maslow’s theory, I could not help but notice at how relevant the quality of self-actualization is and how I have been implementing parts of it and sometimes tried to express similar feelings but in a different manner.
I believe that by reading an article or a book, whether it is fiction or non-fiction, the ideas expressed in there are purely what the author felt or wanted to write.
It is indeed a pleasure reading something that thoroughly interests you and eventually vivifies, but then having your thoughts being reflected by somebody is quite different from the fact of actually getting influenced by it all. There should be a certain amount of individuality in one’s thought. Being pliant to new ideas is not a weakness but blindly following them either because of ignorance or sado-masochistic tendencies is surely incorrect.
The environment plays an incredible role on the psyche of an individual and more so in the tender formative years. Formative years of mind, when an individual is trying to find his/her identity or when one is trying to make a space for themselves where they believe they should be the most. But unfortunately, this does not happen most of the time. Either the opportunity to achieve is curbed or the zest is lacking and foremost reason being the deviations coming across at such times.

The entire being revolves as per the mind and it is the thought which influences the existence. The most logical output of this display is an individual's attitude.

Attitude towards problems
Have the patience to endure the things that cannot be changed, the courage to change the things that can be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the ones from the others.

Love

My thoughts were so well reflected by this small story I came across that I had to make this entry into my blog.

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love." This was how I saw it: "As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds. This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love...they try to posses it, they demand, they expect... and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you. For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings. Give and don't expect. Advise, but don't order. Ask, but never demand. It might sound simple, but! it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring." Passing thought... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away ........
-- Swami Vivekananda

There are also another kind of people who believe that someone else can never understand their requirement of space. They want a number of things, but at the end of everything you have certain fringes attached.
There are no free meals in this world.
It might sound slightly materialistic in the present context, but the fact remains that an element of possessiveness is always there....the right of "advising, but not ordering", the right of "Asking, and not demanding"....if even these things are never given importance then is there still a point in continuing the devotion towards that person...
Over the last One year I have realised myself, in various new facets,with many new feelings which I thought I might be incapable of expressing or possessing.
It was a good experience.
Space is soooo important and so is Love....
So am signing off with the song " Janeman Janeman..Tere do Nayan..."
Its an amazing song expressing the beauty and love....

Change

This is the very first time I have created my 'BLOG'.
There has been an incredible change in my life in the last one year. I have done things which I never thought would happen and some of my dreams also came true.
I did have my share of disappointments, but all said and done I have emerged much wiser.

This has been the first opportunity that I have come out to live independently. Posted in Pune, far away from home, it's going to be a new life for me.

I thought I had forgotten my diary but now I have found one that's mobile.

There has been a change in every sphere....and I am living every minute of it.

Ruminating about all this, I can but remember the ' The Brook's Song ' by Rudyard Kipling.

'Men may come,
Men may go,
But I go on forever.... '