Confusions & Marriage

At 24, I assumed one generally tends to be in some state of clarity with regard to what’s wanted in life. Contrary to my assumption, I seem have no idea on anything that’s of any consequence. Status quo would have been just fine, but the sudden urgency that folks at home seem to have about my settling down – or in one word Marriage, is quite unsettling for my languid existence.

My sentiments are mirrored in all those twenty something Indian girls who are pursued by their parents to get married. The reasons given are “We want to see you happily married and settled” or “It is a great responsibility.” … “You are now twenty-…. It is the right time for you to be married” etc etc… the list is endless. In a way it seems alright. But then it is a question of my entire life and I really would want to take a well-thought out step and most importantly when I think I am ready for it. Within the garbs of freedom come the responsibilities. Quite an irony is what I think. Secondly, they don’t always seem to understand what is this thing called “chemistry” I keep yapping about. Immediately I hear that I should compromise. Agreed! Marriage in itself involves innumerable compromises, but then there is something that I believe in. My sis very neatly framed it, Do not comprise on the guy, compromise with the guy.

If I get married, I would want to be happy on my wedding day. Look forward for spending my life with this guy I totally adore. Be excited about it. But then, I’ll have to watch and see what destiny holds for me. The entire idea of marriage becomes such a big nuisance when you have worried parents and hyper excited relatives whose only aim is to see you married. Everywhere I go, the only thing people ask is when am I getting married. I am sure to tell them as soon as I find a guy, but then for heaven’s sake please allow me to find one. My married and committed friends also seem to have jumped the other side. They are equally vehement about it. Net result of all this is that I feel am thirty plus, very old and past an age where I can secure a ‘Suitable boy’.

All this does make me pretty indifferent…. But then, wish u all a happy and peaceful existence, irrespective of the fact whether you are single, hitched or married.

Swings

Sometimes its just tad depressing for no point whatsoever. Everything simply seems an absolute waste. A lack of enthu or anything that’s left of it. Wonder what causes this void. This complete feeling of being stranded in an abyss and nothing that I do seems to lift me from here.

Does this happen to all? Or am I one of those few souls who end up feeling absolutely lonely in spite of the fact I have everyone around.

I hate being morbid!

Health

One visit to the hospital and one realises how truly blessed we are. Going as a visitor may not make one realise but if one is going for some medication that's when it hits the hardest.

Life is very valuable and spending it cribbing or angry merely wastes its purpose. Tuesdays with Morrie.. a lovely book.. in that Morrie talks about the way Buddhist monks start their day. They assume a bird is sitting on their shoulder and ask if today is the day... and live it as their last.

A preachy blog... but then...Live life to the fullest and keep smiling :-)

Irony

Why does it have to happen to me time and again that when I want something/someone I do not get and once I decide to move on.... I get it!

Somehow.... I feel dead!

mann...

Ek choti si baat jo main kabhi kabhi bhool jaati hoon…. Abhi laga ki aisa kyu karti hoon…tabhi yeh panktiyan mujhe mili….

Mann ka ho to accha hai
par mann ka na ho to aur bhi accha hai
kyunki jab mann ka nahi hota
tab woh hota hai jo Uske mann mein hai
aur woh tumhare mann ke iccha se accha hota hai