Sunday, September 19, 2004

Moving On..

It has been a while since I got the time and also bothered to make an entry.
The kind of composition I was about to make before I was about to sleep never matches the standard of my present or conscious effort of making an entry. Is this the reason why am I yearning for a laptop. But then, it can wait for a while longer. I need to consolidate a number of things prior to that.
‘Cakes n Ale’ does give a refreshing change of putting things and moreover the beautiful representation makes me happy. At present I have a feeling that my life is moving in phases. I come across things and not to forget some of the best experiences. These range from things to people. My latest ‘acquisitions’ if I might put it in a naughty fashion would include people I thought who do not exist in reality. I am glad this time I was wrong J . These people add so much value that I can never imagine. A small talk can actually revitalize and make me soooo happy that I can perform better.
It is at also these times I have people from my past…the one I would prefer to forget, at this stage, come and I am totally lost as to how to deal with these circumstances. I have never ever regretted having done anything, neither do I regret anything now. Its just that I do not wish to be disturbed by them at any time. I guess I have to come to terms with that, hopefully in due course I’ll be bale to.
My prep for CAT …well I wouldn’t call it good and I need to do certain things that’ll keep me focused. I sometimes wonder why do I attach any kind of importance to certain things in life. Does having the need to achieve them the only thing in life. Definitely not!
But then I want something and it is more then all-pervading feeling that makes me do certain things doggedly and have in toto no issues sacrificing anything for its sake.
If, I am to relate to myself to what I was a year back I seriously believe that I have grown tremendously. In terms of not weight ;-) but then in terms of matters concerning people. How to deal with all the myriad varieties I come across. My impatience has reduced .. I suppose but then the fiery spirit still remains that can just go guns blazing at anyone offensive enough. It is a feeling that maybe I must try keeping in control but then I feel its mere human to be so and I don’t wanna be perfect..not like this. I want to yell when I want to. Unfortunately, the number of times I am doing has reduced ;-) .

I am happy with my current status….overwhelmed by His generosity, but greedy…I wanna make it perfect. Off late I have been doing this a lot to some of my fav people….I know that..its fun…mere andar ka shaitaan aaj kal bahut excited rehta hai….
That’s the reason I am the best and want to prove it in terms of certain things that matter superficially. J